Friday, March 26, 2010

Leave me alone, I've got growing up to do.

Today is my eighteenth birthday. Yaay, happy birthday to me. It's my first time celebrating all alone, so I'm not really sure what I'm supposed to do. I was so looking for a beautiful day so that I could go for a walk, all by myself (my favorite hobby :)), but alas, it is about 40 and rainy and grey. Maybe it'll improve later on? Right now I'm just settling for my playlist of indie favorites with a cup of tea with lots of pillows and blankets piled up by the window. The only thing that would make this any better is Ben & Jerry's... maybe I can grab a ride later tonight.
But today is rather bittersweet, because I've been waiting to be 18 for so long, but this is the first birthday I've ever had that I felt nostalgic about my age. I though 17 was the best age. Just on the cusp (points for using that in a real sentence?) of technically being an adult, but still able to claim childhood (and not to mention mooching off the parents.. haha).

Another thing I was thinking about... all day I was looking at the people around me, my friends even, hearing them talk and laugh together, and I realized how much I have yet to experience. Sometimes I feel like I'm missing out on doing these things when I'm young, but maybe that'll just make them all the better when I finally DO get them? (Fingers crossed)
It's just a little crazy when I think how in 18 years I've never held hands, slow-danced (and I mean REAL slow dancing...), been kissed, or had my first love. But imagining myself doing those things now, I feel like I'd just be a little girl playing grown-up. Do we force adulthood on ourselves before we're really ready? I've always wondered...
I really just want to fingerpaint right now and feel like a little kid. Unfortunately all my art supplies are still at home, there was no room in the dorm. :( So I'll just have to make do with putting on my rainboots and going outside to splash in the puddles.


  1. Happy 18th birthday Laura :)

    Yes, sometimes I wish I was still a little kid- technically, I still am (I'm 16), but I'm *supposed* to act mature because of how society expects 16 year olds to act. I, too, have never had my hands held, or been kissed, or even hugged by a guy, while all my friends have had some or all of these experiences. But I think that, like what your picture says, you find love in the most unexpected places, so just wait. The wait may seem long, but when it finally arrives, you'll be really happy, and the moment will be even sweeter :)

  2. ^ Aww, thanks for that. It made me smile. :))
    And I'm sure when we do finally have all those firsts, it'll be even better. =]

    Oh, and let me just say - on hugging guys. It's rather awkward. And not very enjoyable at all. At least not from the experiences I've had so far! :P