"For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith, so that in me you may have ample cause to glory in Christ Jesus, because of my coming to you again."
I've been given a wonderful life.
I have incredible friends, memories both good and bad that have made me who I am, a brain that functions decently [sometimes], and beauty all around me.
In short, I love life, but... sometimes I'm so weary of this place.
I hate seeing people I love walking blindly in the blackest of night and not even realizing they can't see. I hate seeing the struggles and pain that my closest friends have to go through every day. I hate that some people have resigned themselves to the belief that there is nothing to live for beyond "being good".
Even at the risk of sounding like a self-righteous masochist with a death wish, I have to say that there are days when I really wouldn't be afraid to completely surrender myself to what I know will inevitably come.
But of course, that would be the easy way out... I can't escape the pain and suffering of this world, and while I may yearn for perfect love and a radically new existence, I know God has given me this life to do something. Not to resign myself to the fact that this a temporary state that I just have to get through as fast as I can, but as a temporary state that I want to make COUNT. I know in the end my efforts alone would count as loss, but I'm so excited to see what I can do with God's love and strength behind me.
What will you do to make your life count? What will you live for? Who will you live for?
"It was not always plain to me that pursuing God’s glory would be virtually the same as pursuing my joy. Now I see that millions of people waste their lives because they think these paths are two and not one."
"Be very careful, then, how you live—not as the unwise but as the wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is."