Feel like crying.

"I want to be skinny. I want to be bones. I want to be beautiful.

I want to be loved. I want to be held.

I don't want to be alone anymore."

I read that today on someone's blog.

Our society is so freaking messed up. I'm not saying men don't have problems, but society seems to be especially hard on girls. It's so wrong, and nothing makes me more upset than the fact that the media and fashion industry have such an impact.

There isn't a magic weight that will make your life instantaneously wonderful.

Skinny girls are just as unhappy.

Happiness isn't determined by weight, size, shape, color.

I just wish everyone could see that.

title of this post says I feel like crying. in reality, I feel more like screaming this out to the world, and fighting. Fighting the media and forcing them to start putting plus size models on their covers, instead of girls who are just bones. Getting rid of diet foods and diet pills and anorexia. suing those brands, designers, and companies who have ruined the lives of millions of girls. making girls see that they don't have to be the unrealistic, fantasy size of supermodels to have a happy life.

you are beautiful, whoever you are, reading this.

Be happy with who you are. There are way too many wonderful things in life to waste your life away stressing, worrying, and obsessing about what you look like.

you make me wanna measure stars in the backyard with a calculator and a ruler.

"I would liken you

to a night without stars

were it not for your eyes.

I would liken you

to a sleep without dreams

were it not for your songs." 

-Langston Hughes

money is overrated, anyway

so it's becoming doubtful whether I'll be going back to school this fall... :[ I really hate that, but my only alternative is finding some way to pay $3000 in the next month. God knows I can't borrow it from my parents, and taking out any more loans frankly scares me, with as much debt as I'm already in. So either $3000 will miraculously make its way into my pocket in the next few weeks, or I'll be taking the semester (year?) off to work and volunteer at the wildlife center. It really wouldn't be the end of the world, since I started college a year ahead anyway, so I'd be the age of a normal sophomore if I wait until next year, I just hate the idea of taking a whole YEAR off. I could at least transfer to JMU, the public school about half an hour away from where I go now which would be about a quarter of the cost, but it's so huge, and I really love the atmosphere of my school. This whole situation just sucks. 

on a more optimistic note... 

I woke up this morning to find my color me happy package out in the mail and a headband I got on discount from aimee's etsy, in addition to a lovely letter from mariella. 

then I had a stop at the library where I found all these lovely books. 

so I think I have a book problem. Once I pick up one, it looks so lonely I have to get another.... and then they just start multiplying. It's rather strange, really. 

I can't wait to read them all. I've heard wonderful things about Jonathan Safran Foen's book, and from what I saw flipping through it it looks amazing. :]

new obsessions

first, Mumford & Sons.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_KCg_QEHtkY
awesome. check 'em out.

secondly. I sort of hate myself for this, but... vans.yes, that's right. the ones who make THESE. ew.

but let me show you...

Ahh, aren't they lovely?

I just can't get enough of them...

cute. a little vans-wearing couple.

my favorite are when they're all worn down and dirty. siigh. perfect. they just seem to look better when they're dirty. white ones, especially.

I love them in any shade of blue. and yellow... :] of course.
I thought they couldn't be too terribly expensive, at least not on ebay...
yeah. ugh. cheapest pair I could find was $25. for a pair of used shoes? really? and we all know I'm broke anyway... there goes my dream of having a rainbow colored collection of vans...

Today is a wonderful day...

Well, yes and no...

No, because I'm sick. Blah. Strep throat and a cold, my least favorite combination. I've been pouring tea and water down my throat by the cupfulls [okay, not really, but I'm trying to drink at least 2 cups of tea and 8 glasses of water], and ingesting copious amounts of cough drops, soup, and vitamin C, so hopefully I'll be all better soon.

But why is this such a wonderful day you ask? I FINALLY GOT GEEK GLASSES. :]

I always hesitated, thinking that they'd look ridiculous on me, and I'm pretty sure I still have to stick by that assessment, but whatever. They're just too wonderful for me to care. They're really just plastic frames with no lenses, but.. I love em anyway.

Sooo in love...

They make me feel like such a nerd. I LOVE IT. Now I just need an ironic tshirt, suspenders, a triangle tattoo and a bearded, plaid-wearing boyfriend and I'll be a certified hipster, fitting in with the rest of the crowd. WOOT. 

"I've built a wall; not to block anyone out, but to see who loves me enough to climb over it."

the sun can come back another day.

"those who say sunshine brings happiness have never danced in the rain."

"I believe in running through the rain and crashing into the person you love and having your lips bleed on each other."

I want it to rain on my wedding day. Is that strange? I just love the rain, and I think it would be so cute and funny and ridiculous and unexpected.

Don't get me wrong, I love love LOVE sunny summer days, but I think I like the rainy ones better.

Hear that, sky? Take back your sunny skies and give me more rain!

It just showered here for about 15 minutes, the most rain I've seen in the past two weeks.

My rainboots have not been getting nearly enough attention recently.

So here's my playlist dedicated to rainy days. :]

1 Raindrop Prelude by Chopin

2 Leave Me By Myself by Williams Fitzsimmons

3 Grey Sky Eyes by Carbon Leaf

4 Wish You Well by Katie Herzig

5 I Hurt Too by Katie Herzig

6 Old Friends/Bookends by Simon & Garfunkel

7 Hazy by Rosi Golan (feat William Fitzsimmons)

8 Painting By Chagall by The Weepies

9 Rain by Priscilla Ahn

10 Waking Life by Schuyler Fisk

download here.

"i'll be your umbrella until you want to dance in the rain."

sharpied.

Go over to Kaelah's blog right now and read this note that she wrote to her boyfriend. So cute. :]


Broke out the sharpies today. Just playing around with possible tattoo ideas...

This is probably the one that is most important to me.
I really want to get it in freehand script, with Love in cursive.

Ahh, I don't have enough arm space!

"be soft. do not let the world make you hard. do not let your pain make you hate. do not let the bitterness steal your sweetness. take pride that, even though the rest of the world may disagree, you still believe it to be a beautiful place."

to die by your side, such a heavenly way to die

^ the Smiths are great. I take long breaks from listening to them, and then they show up on itunes and I remember how much I loved them in the first place! Good stuff.

Rambling ahead.

this gives me hope that there are truly wonderful guys out there. =] And it's just a great song. Kudos, Charlie. I love the untraditional ..."instruments".

experimenting with the hair for tomorrow.... it's sort of fun, I have crazy random braids tied with bright hairbands sticking out all over the place. I sort of feel like I'm 6. I'm really excited to take it out and see how wavy it'll be.

please excuse the sadly terrible quality of my webcam. The camera's out of commission at the moment. :[

So yesterday I was wasting time on weheartit (new favorite), and stumbled across this picture.

^ I'm secretly a little bit in love with him.

awesome idea I heard today: every day, do something you're afraid of. I love that. It reminds me of the quote from Alice in Wonderland, "Sometimes I believe in as many as six impossible things before breakfast." I might add them both to my daily schedule...

<3 Love.

beautiful

“Use what talents you possess;

the woods would be very silent if no birds sang there

except those that sang best.”

-Henry Van Dyke