heritage.

today, by chance, I came across this poem by James Still. I had to read it aloud three or four times to hear it. poetry does that to me. losing myself in the sounds of the words strung together and their place on the page is an experience entirely different from just "understanding" a poem.


I shall not leave these prisoning hills
Though they topple their barren heads to level earth
And the forests slide uprooted out of the sky.

Though the waters of Troublesome, of Trace Fork,
Of Sand Lick rise in a single body to glean the valleys,
To drown lush pennyroyal, to unravel rail fences;
Though the sun-ball breaks the ridges into dust
And burns its strength into the blistered rock

I cannot leave. I cannot go away.

Being of these hills, being one with the fox
Stealing into the shadows, one with the new-born foal,
The lumbering ox drawing green beech logs to mill,
One with the destined feet of man climbing and descending,

And one with death rising to bloom again, I cannot go.

Being of these hills I cannot pass beyond.


ahhh I love this valley. I'm so selfish, but I think I live in one of the loveliest places in the states. Despite my incurable desire for travel and adventure, I'm not sure if I'll ever find a place as beautiful and dear to me as these rolling hills.

spring babies

I love spring. clichéd as it is, I love the signs of new life everywhere. 

 

Speaking of spring babies, my sister just had her second child yesterday morning :) 

I may be biased, but I think he's rather adorable. :]

"For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain. If I am to live in the flesh, that means fruitful labor for me. Yet which I shall choose I cannot tell. I am hard pressed between the two. My desire is to depart and be with Christ, for that is far better. But to remain in the flesh is more necessary on your account. Convinced of this, I know that I will remain and continue with you all, for your progress and joy in the faith, so that in me you may have ample cause to glory in Christ Jesus, because of my coming to you again."

-Philippians 1:21-26

I've been given a wonderful life.

I have incredible friends, memories both good and bad that have made me who I am, a brain that functions decently [sometimes], and beauty all around me.

In short, I love life, but... sometimes I'm so weary of this place.

I hate seeing people I love walking blindly in the blackest of night and not even realizing they can't see. I hate seeing the struggles and pain that my closest friends have to go through every day. I hate that some people have resigned themselves to the belief that there is nothing to live for beyond "being good".

Even at the risk of sounding like a self-righteous masochist with a death wish, I have to say that there are days when I really wouldn't be afraid to completely surrender myself to what I know will inevitably come.

But of course, that would be the easy way out... I can't escape the pain and suffering of this world, and while I may yearn for perfect love and a radically new existence, I know God has given me this life to do something. Not to resign myself to the fact that this a temporary state that I just have to get through as fast as I can, but as a temporary state that I want to make COUNT. I know in the end my efforts alone would count as loss, but I'm so excited to see what I can do with God's love and strength behind me.

What will you do to make your life count? What will you live for? Who will you live for?

"It was not always plain to me that pursuing God’s glory would be virtually the same as pursuing my joy. Now I see that millions of people waste their lives because they think these paths are two and not one."

-John Piper

"Be very careful, then, how you live—not as the unwise but as the wise, making the most of every opportunity, because the days are evil. Therefore do not be foolish, but understand what the Lord’s will is."

-Ephesians 5:15-17

more than a day for eggs

I see Your face in every sunrise

The colors of the morning are inside Your eyes

The world awakens in the light of the day
I look up to the sky and say
You're beautiful

I see Your power in the moonlit night
Where planets are in motion and galaxies are bright
We are amazed in the light of the stars
It's all proclaiming who You are
You're beautiful, You're beautiful

I see You there hanging on a tree
You bled and then You died and then You rose again for me
Now You are sitting on Your heavenly throne
Soon we will be coming home
You're beautiful, You're beautiful

When we arrive at eternity's shore
Where death is just a memory and tears are no more
We'll enter in as the wedding bells ring
Your bride will come together and we'll sing
You're beautiful

I'm in love.

the cello

mountains

the smell of freshly baked bread

beauty in unexpected places

j.m. barrie

so much color

going on an adventure all alone

secret kisses

the mud that squishes between your toes on spring days, the steam that rises from a cup of tea, falling asleep to the sound of someone else's breathing, hushed lonely walks through the woods, loveliness that can't be tamed, someone's fingers combing through your hair, silence so soft it deafens, night breezes.

the greatest of these

This weekend I had the amazing opportunity to go back to a youth retreat that I first started going to in 2004. Long story short: I never thought I'd be able to return due to complicated small print, but God (through the help of some great friends) brought me back, and let me say it was AWESOME. I went as a leader, but learned so much from the kids I went to help "mentor". The speaker spoke a lot about love, which, for obvious reasons, is one of my favorite topics. :) I've always been sort of prideful about the fact that I love people easily. It may not always be for the right reasons, but I usually find it pretty easy to love on people. Okay, love. This is MY thing. I've got this. I was thinking it'd be a pretty chill weekend (insert loud wrong-answer buzz here). I was feeling pretty good about myself until the speaker asked how often we've shared our story with others. 

"How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them?" 

-Romans 10:14

I'm reminded of an illustration my pastor once gave. You're walking down the street when you hear screams coming from inside a burning building. What's your first thought? Is it "oh gosh, I really don't think I should go help those people... I mean, they might not really need help, they might be okay on their own.. besides, if I go in an help them, that's really pushy and in-your-face, and I might offend them... and I'm not even a trained firefighter. Maybe if I just walk on, someone more equipped to do this will help out..." The people in the burning house are the people we pass everyday, people who are silently screaming out for love, answers, someone to show them the way. How can I really say I love people when I'm leaving them to their own private hell?
Ouch.
If my love for people and my love for Jesus are as great as they are, I should be screaming it from the top of my lungs to EVERYONE. Okay, screaming it might not be the best idea.... but desperation is what I'm getting at here. Desperation to share this wonderful love with anyone who might cross my path.
Too often we're consumed with debilitating fear that people will think we're crazy freaks or, even worse, get offended. Of course, we don't worry about people getting offended at us when you blast our horn at that jerk that just cut you off, or when you make fun of someone behind their back, because those things have become acceptable in our perverted culture, yet sharing God's love with someone is taboo.
I might be ranting and raving a little here, but I was really convicted. I'm a hypocrite if my "love" for people doesn't extend deeper than a superficial smile, hello, or a hug.
When it really comes down to it, I've been put on this earth for two reasons: to glorify my God, and to love fiercely. And I can't think of a better way to live my days.

"By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." 

-John 13:35

photoshoot with Natasha

I PROMISE a real entry sometime in the next week or so. I have one in the works, but school is eating me alive right now, and I want to put effort into it.
In the meantime... my lovely friend Natasha is taking some photography classes, and is desperate for subjects. Being the camerawhore that I am, I gladly volunteered. I feel a little narcissistic posting pictures of myself on my blog, but at least they're not myspace-esque self portraits, right? She just did such a great job (*cough* I can't think of anything else to post on short notice *cough*).

My lovely photographer :]

places I want to go: Arizona