books are drugs.

after a 24-hour hiatus, I am here again.
they call to me from the shelves above, inviting themselves into my arms. how else can I explain how the one book I am holding turns into five, ten more, replicating at a pace that would rival that of rabbits.
like an office without greenery, a home without books is lifeless and bleak. there's even something in the smell of a book that makes a room feel richer.
psychological studies tell me that simply by reading a book, you may fall under its influence by adapting your beliefs and the way you live your life.
I bring them home with me, where the most aesthetically pleasing ones are snatched up quickly, while the fatter tomes that beg for my promise of commitment languish on the bedside table. the three week deadline rolls around, despite my attempts to keep them in my possession a little longer, and the greater majority return unread, not even opened. but it doesn't matter. building a book fortress, blanketing myself with books, breathing in books... it's almost the same as reading them, isn't it?
I'm like Alaska Young, constructing around myself a wall of books to hide behind.
but I'm reading myself out.

I won't muddy the waters by starting on my anti-kindle rant.
until next time.



{sourced}

phosphenes

my thoughts are stars I can't fathom into constellations. 

credits to John Green for his gloriously written book The Fault In Our Stars, and to Matthew Cusick for stunning artwork.

we could be wallflower friends

love these drawings found on .bipolar's flickr.

cool stuff.
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I finished Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close and loved it. It was filled with such wonderful quotes, and was just amazing. I loved the raw emotion in it. I don't truly consider a book to be a success unless it makes me laugh, cry, go "what??" and turn back a few pages to try to figure out what just happened, and mark things out of it to remember. extremely loud and incredibly close = all of the above.
when I returned it to the library, I left a secret inside it. I looked it back up on the library website, and someone has it checked out. so my secret is now in someone's hands, waiting to be discovered. :] what's crazy is, what if it's someone I know? what if it's someone who is reading this right now? what if they leave a secret note in the book for me? or they put their own secret in it, for the next person to read, and starts a chain of secret-sharing? I'm going to leave one in every book I check out now.

"If you take a book with you on a journey,...an odd thing happens: The book begins collecting your memories. And forever after you have only to open that book to be back where you first read it. It will all come into your mind with the very first words: the sights you saw in that place, what it smelled like, the ice cream you ate while you were reading it...yes, books are like flypaper--memories cling to the printed page better than anything else."

-Cornelia Caroline Funke

girl in a tree

spent the day out in the treehouse, making friendship bracelets and reading this wonderful book.

it makes me want to start hitchhiking all over the US, and move out west... oh wait! I already wanted to do those things! guess I was just made for the beat life. 

My view... 

BOOOOOOK. I love it. It's so pretty too. I love the color on the back and the photograph on the front (which looks like dreamy Gregory Peck.) can't wait to finish, there are so many others on my shelf... Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close is next. 

There were these random construction dudes in the yard next door that kept giving me funny looks. 

What? don't you guys take pictures of yourself reading in your tree house all the time? 

I want queen anne's lace in my hair and bouquet when I get married.

Song I'm listening to: 

Use Somebody (a cover by my very dear friend Bri :] ) 

Quoting: 

"boldness be my friend." -Shakespeare

money is overrated, anyway

so it's becoming doubtful whether I'll be going back to school this fall... :[ I really hate that, but my only alternative is finding some way to pay $3000 in the next month. God knows I can't borrow it from my parents, and taking out any more loans frankly scares me, with as much debt as I'm already in. So either $3000 will miraculously make its way into my pocket in the next few weeks, or I'll be taking the semester (year?) off to work and volunteer at the wildlife center. It really wouldn't be the end of the world, since I started college a year ahead anyway, so I'd be the age of a normal sophomore if I wait until next year, I just hate the idea of taking a whole YEAR off. I could at least transfer to JMU, the public school about half an hour away from where I go now which would be about a quarter of the cost, but it's so huge, and I really love the atmosphere of my school. This whole situation just sucks. 

on a more optimistic note... 

I woke up this morning to find my color me happy package out in the mail and a headband I got on discount from aimee's etsy, in addition to a lovely letter from mariella. 

then I had a stop at the library where I found all these lovely books. 

so I think I have a book problem. Once I pick up one, it looks so lonely I have to get another.... and then they just start multiplying. It's rather strange, really. 

I can't wait to read them all. I've heard wonderful things about Jonathan Safran Foen's book, and from what I saw flipping through it it looks amazing. :]

Books, books, books and purple hair!

I've always wanted to do something funky with my hair.
So I finally got it cut!
5 inches gone... it feels so strange.
And because that wasn't enough....
I DYED IT PURPLE. =D I've always wanted to do crazy highlights, but I never thought they'd actually show up without bleaching first, so I was really surprised with how this turned out (unbleached)...

Spent the day with my nephew, who happens to be the most adorable child on this earth.
No, I am not biased in the least.

There was a surprise shower that was glorious. Usually I'm not a big fan of rain, but when it's warm it's lovely.

Who needs an umbrella?


I found my dream library today...

Shaun Tan

If you haven't checked out any of his books, do it. They're mostly illustration, but the few words there are really add to them.

So far I've read Memorial, The Arrival (my favorite!), Tales from Outer Suburbia, and The Lost Thing. My favorite part from the Arrival was the part on secret poems that people write, and what happens to them when you crumple them up and throw them out the window or into the waste basket. I tried to find a picture, but none of them did it justice.



'It floats gently above suburban rooftops... inspiring lonely dogs to bark in the middle of the night.'

Ten Things I Love

10. Fabric stores

I just love walking through and running my hands over all the different textures and colors... some colors just seem to feel differently. I always think deep reds and purples have a different feel from citrus-y yellows and oranges, and then white has a completely different feel altogether. Pure.


9. Peeling the thick white stuff off of an orange

I know this one is really weird. But there's just something so satisfying about pulling off that thick white inside peel... especially when it comes off in big chunks.












8. Auguste Toulmouche

His colors are so rich, and the fabrics look so real. You can almost feel them just looking at the painting. One of my favorites by him (besides this one) is The Reluctant Bride. It's just hilarious, her expression is so perfect.













7. Old diners and gas stations

There's something terribly nostalgic and romantic about old, deserted diners. Gas stations, too. I love the old fashioned pumps, and just the colors that were used in old diners. I'd love to have a photoshoot in front of one sometime...



6. Creamed butter and sugar

Just the act of creaming butter and sugar is so much fun, but then the smell.... *sigh* I'm convinced that only one thing (see #1) is better than the smell of creamed butter and sugar. If you've never done it, you're missing out. It's my absolute favorite part of cooking. =]



5. Paint swatches

Every time I go to Lowe's I take a few. It's my dream to cover a whole wall, and eventually a room with them. Something like this - http://blog.hgtv.com/design/files/2009/04/paint-swatch-headboard.jpg. Only with less space between each swatch, and with only one color, just different shades.



4. Old books

First of all they're so much prettier than new books. The paper feels nicer, and the covers aren't all covered with slick plastic. This is the main reason I love to work in special collections at the library, because I get to shelve all these beautiful old books. Sometimes I just walk through the shelves, looking at all the different colors and fonts on the spines, and smelling the different old smells of them.



3. Crayola colors

Atomic Tangerine? Blush? Inchworm? Wild Blue Yonder? Sugar Plum? Fresh Air? These never cease to amaze me.
After all, who wants to color with grey when you can color with Leather Jacket? Or orange when you can have Mango Tango? Yellow instead of Macaroni and Cheese? And finally, my favorite, Fuzzy Wuzzy. What color do you imagine Fuzzy Wuzzy would look like?




2. Snuffing candles

When I was little, we used to have a "candle snuffer", and my sister and I would always fight over who got to snuff the candles. It always made me feel like I lived in the 1800's, snuffing candles instead of using a lightswitch before going to bed. Now I've graduated from a candle snuffer to just using my finger. It's almost as fun.



1. Cedar

I'm completely obsessed with cedar. I can pick out the scent of it whenever I walk into a lumber store, and it's the only reason I ever would go into any kind of hardware store with my dad. I'd always wander away to the wood section, and he'd find me sniffing away at the cedar like some kind of druggie. (By the way, I'm still convinced that I've gotten high off of cedar before...) It reminds me of birdfeeders, autumn, old hope chests and dresser drawers, school supplies, and the Botanical Gardens in DC (the only live cedar trees I've ever found.. I'm in heaven there...) I'd really love some of these for my drawers - http://www.signsealedelivered.co.uk/ekmps/shops/ssdshop/images/cedar_balls.jpg.

What I'm Reading

Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov
"The only convincing love story of our century."

(Possible spoilers?)
Hm. I'm afraid I'll have to disagree. I picked this up at the library about a week ago - not my normal type of book, but I just felt like maybe I should slowly start introducing books into my list that are actually my level, instead of just living in the children's section. Not that I'm deserting the children's section... Never!! It's where some of the best literature is. I just want to try to read more from the adult section, so that I can impress people. Well, not exactly impress, but I'm beginning to realize why I get weird looks when I'm telling people what I'm reading... "The Phantom Tolbooth. For the TENTH TIME!!" But all this is so tangential...
I really want to like the book, but I just... don't. And the reason I don't like it isn't because of the weirdness of it. I can get over that part, because while I think large age differences between lovers are rather unusual and strange, I also think love is love, so why put an age restriction on it? But the main reason I don't like it is that it's called a love story, but I don't think Humbert actually loves Dolores, he's just creepily obsessed and consumed by her. And it's a very selfish relationship; he is constantly bribing her and blackmailing her to get her to comply. He only has an obsession with the age that she is, he doesn't actually love her since he's always saying that as soon as she reaches "that difficult age" he will be done with her, or, sickening as it is, stay with her solely for the pleasure he'll derive from her having a child.
Of course, I'm not done with it yet. But I'm not sure it'll improve.